I have Self-Harmed for various reasons for about 5 years.
I have attempted to end my life 3 times (2 in November 08)
Since July 08 my sleep was VERY poor and I couldn’t concentrate when back at school in September, so I used to wake up by abusing solvents, that would give me headaches so I took co-codamol as i would regularly, only realised after a while I was mentally addicted to the solvents and physically to the co-codamol (later discovered codeine content can cause addiction if taken over 3 days) stopped that in on March 12th due to guy I really love asking me out, wanting to change.
1st sexual relationship. Very emotional a lot, crying over nothing, had last self-harmed in nov, but started again. Thought it was due to BC pill. Changed pill. No change in me.
I don’t care about stuff i used to, dont want to go out or to school. Dont want to see friends, don’t care about my GCSEs happening atm.crying a lot, no energy, everything seems impossible,i always want to be alone, im angry more, no self-esteem, have nightmares about past occurances or what will happen in diff situations regarding affair, Feel useless and like a failure. Sleeping patterns and eating habits gone all odd. No sleep and never hungry, normally eat TOO well. Although 1st 2 years of self-harm consisted of starving till stomach hurt then eating till stomach hurt in a cycle, no weight change. But same effect as self-harm.
Some reasons why I first Si’d;
Bipolar mum, miss her. She is different when ill or on pills, not my mum, its like shes dead.
Dad cheating on her and I’m only one who knows
Traumatic thing ages ago – Guy flashes at me and friends, week later at me and one friend (who was there 1st time) – all friends were on holiday where it happened, but I live here. He followed me when with a school friend, and once more after that. Worked in supermarket and dad saw him try to pinch my bum. Police were involved but no evidence, no conviction. See him around and have get wheezy and heart goes insanely fast.
House got repossesed
Mum was in drug-induced coma due to chronic pulmonary obstructive disorder and heart problem, on ventilator in intensive care and was told she had a few days to live. She pulled through (was in nov)
etc.
Problems with friends, exams, brother, worrying about friends problems, worrying about future, bullying problems, problems with appearance, always argueing with people and recently..
Thought bf was cheating ever though he loves me and hes been hurt by it the past, trust girl i though it was with. Just mum and dad situation has made me see how easy it is to lie and make it convincing etc.
Some of the “symptoms” if not most have been happening for a while, up to 8 years (when mum got ill) but have been getting worse and worse.
I am 16 and a girl.
No stupid answers please, this is serious
Also, talking about the stuff that bothers me is kinda like my way of talking to a therapist. I can get everything off my chest and it helps me.
I find it easier to put my personal life out here on the internet when I dont know you guys, rather than talk about stuff to people I know. I also find it hard to talk to people.
Daniel M – I said no stupid answers, I appreciate that you’ve had a tough time. But I have too and this is the way I deal with it, I have tried to be strong and cope and put on a brace face but its hard. I try to see the good in my life, I often find it, but this stuff is always there, in the back of my mind. I can’t help how I feel. I don’t want to feel this way and that it why asking for advise, so I can help myself and not feel this way. I want to be able to appreciate life.
People cope with things in different ways. 2 people with similar life situations don’t necessarily act the same way. This is the way I did/do things.
e.g two of my friends have alcoholic mothers. 1 was self-harming and bulimic etc. The other tried her very best to be nothing like her mum, tried hard at school etc.
Ive never really understood why you would come to this site and look for answers on such a personal subject.
Ive only read into the first sentence of this post because its none of my business to know any of this.
Go to a doctor and ask them for advice and support.
I certainly what not what people knowing about me in such a personal manner online.
Doctor = Best Option
listen luv the suicidle anniversary of a good friend of mine was today and to make it worse my friends child died today and you have got the bloody nerve to be .oh forget it .you wanna grow up young lady life isnt fair and the quicker you realise it and use it to your advantage instead of feeling **** about yourself th better
nothing in life is easy and nothing in life ever will be, life is hard and we either have to try our hardest to get somewhere (most likely fail and get no where) or in my book take the easy option which is death. Things are hard but believe me they dnt always stay that way, my life seems hard most days but i carry on tryin even tho i get no where i did my gcse’s and got no where im still endlessly searchin for a job living in a place where i know no 1 at all! but im not giving up cos i wanna prove it to myself!! iv contemplated sucide a number of times but i dnt wanna take the easy way out! i wanna prove myself and make myself a life by doing it my way and being succesfull. dnt give up things will always get better! xx
Good grief. I have to say, I really felt a lot of empathy with you, as my darkest time was when I was 17, just before I was diagnosed with severe depression. You have really had an awful time.
First off – good for you for getting all this off your chest. It’s actually a massive achievement to get all this out and tell someone. So, good for you. You need to talk about all this.
Second, you’ve had a hell of a lot to contend with. Yes, I would say, being an outsider, you probably are depressed, but is that really surprising?? Goodness me,to come through what you have is amazing in itself. I think you’re fantastic. To have a bipolar Mum alone is incredibly stressful and difficult (I’m bipolar II with major depressive episodes) so to contend with everything else as well is amazing.
I’m not a Doctor, or a Counsellor. I’m 29 and I went through awful times and depression from age 15 onwards, finally diagnosed bipolar three ir four years ago (AT LAST!!). You ened to get some professional help and support. Really, really important. Talk to your GP, your school nurse, your folks if possible. The GCSEs can wait. I did mine at 17 and 18 instead. Speak up now and get the help you need. If you manage to speak to someone within school, you can also talk to the exam boards – they will allow you special consideration wehn it comes to exams. I do know about this – it’s my specialist subject as I had a nervous breakdown in the middle of my ALevels. Don’t let this escalate. Speak up and tell a Doctor or Nurse what you have told us. You can go to the GP on your own. Make notes if you need to remember stuff when you go in. Let us know how you get on. Trust me, you can feel better, and you can get through. There’s no shame in asking for a little bit of help right now. You’ve had a rubbish time. Big hugs and thoughts.
Blondie
your life is hoorendous
therapies which wil help you are
spiritual healing and reiki
massage
study and apply good nutrition
a good councilor a few decent friends
and alot of help from above ….
a starter
Testimonies
Spiritual healing ,Seichim and Reiki healing
When People speak about their condition and tell of the benefits which they have found by employing the treatments one can only feel humbled .These are just a few of the many thousands of comments which have been made .Sometimes the therapies have been literally a life saver bringing people back from the point of death, sometimes out of a life of years of misery and suffering, they are all interesting reading.
Spiritual healing
Harry Edwards recalled the case of a young man who, accompanied by a lady, was brought to me for healing. He was in great pain and eaten-up with arthritis. As the healing proceeded, so his pains left him, and his joints began to loosen and become free. When I had finished treating him, it was a real delight to see how wonderfully glad he was to be able to use his legs, feet, arms and hands again… and then he told me: “When I came here, I was convinced no one could help me, and I came only to please my Aunt, who brought me.”
You worked a miracle with his father when he was very ill 1983-84 when I wrote to you, but you will be pleased to know he is now working for the Council and lives a fairly normal life.
I’s report is complete – he is 100% fit and will have no trouble in resuming his sporting activities -considering the first reports, this is a miracle. I do not know how I would have managed without your wonderful help.
You and the late Harry Edwards helped me so often and indeed I am still pressing on 18 years after I was expected to die from my last bout of cancer.
I wrote to ask for healing for my sister who was to undergo an operation for aneurysm in the aorta. Her operation was very successful. After 1 day in intensive care and 2 days in progressive care she was back in her own room and has done extremely well. She was allowed home after 7 days when she had been told to expect to be in hospital for 10 to 15 days. Everyone was amazed at her recovery and the surgeon told her she had been a perfect patient. I feel sure the absent healing and our prayers were to a great extent responsible for this wonderful recovery and I thank you most sincerely for your help.
I thought perhaps you would like to have a record of the people you have helped during the time I have been sending reports. M.L. -angina, complete recovery. D. L. -duodenal ulcer, complete healing. B.L. – Angina, complete recovery. P.D. – Leukaemia – apparent full recovery.
On behalf of my mother, daughter and myself may I thank you for the lovely day at your Sanctuary last Tuesday. My mother is so much better it is truly amazing. She can stretch out her arms and even raise them to her head and her walking is much stronger. My daughter was very impressed, too. 1141/6
My condition improved in as much as I now have much more self-confidence and ability to deal with my everyday life. 1145/6
G.S. Good news. Up until recently he had to be helped to get into and out of his car. It is adapted to enable a disabled person to drive, The other day he got into his car entirely on his own and drove some 12 miles to a nearby town. Got out on his own and went into a shop to make a purchase. No wheelchair anymore! 1142/6
You both, along with our friends in Spirit, have been directing healing for our daughter who, as I told you, has been given a full bill of health, thank you. 1146/6
I must report to you the miracle that soon after writing to you about my husband’s ill health due to smoking, he decided to give up the habit and has not smoked since. I never thought it possible. It has been well worth it all. His general health has improved considerably. 1148/6
not druggs