asked:

For years I put up with the arguments, even at a distance, with my mother and siblings. She would go back and forth and start trouble between all my brothers and sisters. I tried to break the pattern by telling my siblings what she is doing, that she is always on the outs with one of us, but they all want to stay in her favor. My father left many years ago, he tried to visit us, but being around her was almost impossible since she is always creating conflict. I know he had to leave since 1/2 way or part way never works with her. She continues to be abusive. We are all in our 40′s now, and I found out she has even been calling my friends or employers fishing for information as to whether they are on her side or mine? My employers??? That is nuts. I realize she has now gone behind my back and if she finds I had a disagreement with a girlfriend, she would call them to “take their side” and gain favor. When I tried to talk to her about it, she twists it all around and says she is getting a counselor to deal with me. I find this all very amusing since she is the abusive one. She is very manipulative with counselors and people, she knows all the buzz words to say to get them to see her side. I should have listened to the counselor that met with her in 1990 and told me that she is not the kind of parent that cares about a child. The best thing is to get away.
Anyway, as of the beginning of April, I have cut off all contact. I cannot do it anymore, the arguments, the mean words, and now I realize she has caused so much grief in my life. She seems to live for grief. She never remarried and is in her 70′s. I do not love her, and I never did.
I just need some tips on keeping her out of my life for good. As I have said 1/2 way does not work, she widdles her way back into your graces and then turns on you. I am fighting cancer now, and I am a lot better. I will make it. I don’t need her grief. She even is very cavalier about the cancer like “oh, it is nothing”
We have had periods where we don’t talk, 6-9 months even through special events and holidays. If you get weak and call out of the goodness of your heart, she is very accepting but abusive as if to say “I won, and you came back” If I don’t call, she sends a nice card for a holiday which is the “hook” to call. Once you call she is on her best behavior until you let your guard down, then all the cycle starts. It is almost a jealousy that I am doing well, and she wants to destroy it.If she finds I met somebody new, she will somehow get their number and try to wedge the relationship. If the relationship is very new, it frightens new people away.

james_lund_007 asked:

THE EGG STORYWill this control Inflation? – Nice logic [C1]

Spread this msg and sounds good lets make a drop difference.
Nice Logic – It May Work !!

A man eats two eggs each morning for breakfast. When he goes to
the Kirana
store he pays Rs. 12 a dozen. Since a dozen eggs won’t last a
week he
normally buys two dozens at a time. One day while buying eggs he
notices
that the price has risen to Rs. 16. The next time he buys
groceries, eggs
are Rs. 22 a dozen.

When asked to explain the price of eggs the store owner says,
“The price
has gone up and I have to raise my price accordingly”. This store
buys at 100
dozen eggs a day. He checked around for a better price and all
the
distributors have raised their prices. The distributors have
begun to buy
from the huge egg farms. The small egg farms have been driven
out of
business. The huge egg farms sell 100,000 dozen eggs a day to
distributors. With no competition, they can set the price as
they see fit.
The distributors then have to raise their prices to the grocery
stores. And
on and on and on.

As the man kept buying eggs the price kept going up. He saw the
big egg
trucks delivering 100 dozen eggs each day. Nothing changed there.
He
checked out the huge egg farms and found they were selling
100,000 dozen
eggs to the distributors daily. Nothing had changed but the price
of eggs.

Then week before Diwali the price of eggs shot up to Rs. 40 a
dozen. Again
he asked the grocery owner why and was told, “Cakes and baking
for the
holiday”. The huge egg farmers know there will be a lot of
baking going on
and more eggs will be used. Hence, the price of eggs goes up.
Expect the
same thing at Christmas and other times when family cooking,
baking, etc.
happen.

This pattern continues until the price of eggs is Rs. 60 a dozen.
The man
says, “There must be something we can do about the price of
eggs”.

He starts talking to all the people in his town and they decide
to stop
buying eggs. This didn’t work because everyone needed eggs.

Finally, the man suggested only buying what you need. He ate 2
eggs a day.
On the way home from work he would stop at the grocery and buy
two eggs.
Everyone in town started buying 2 or 3 eggs a day.

The grocery store owner began complaining that he had too many
eggs in his
cooler. He told the distributor that he didn’t need any eggs.
Maybe wouldn’t need any all week.

The distributor had eggs piling up at his warehouse. He told the
huge egg
farms that he didn’t have any room for eggs would not need any
for at least
two weeks.

At the egg farm, the chickens just kept on laying eggs. To
relieve the
pressure, the huge egg farm told the distributor that they could
buy the
eggs at a lower price.

The distributor said, ” I don’t have the room for the %$&^*&%
eggs even if
they were free”. The distributor told the grocery store owner
that he
would lower the price of the eggs if the store would start buying
again.

The grocery store owner said, “I don’t have room for more eggs.
The
customers are only buying 2 or 3 eggs at a time. Now if you were
to drop
the price of eggs back down to the original price, the customers
would
start buying by the dozen again”.

The distributors sent that proposal to the huge egg farmers but
the egg
farmers liked the price they were getting for their eggs but,
those
chickens just kept on laying. Finally, the egg farmers lowered
the price
of their eggs. But only a few paisa.

The customers still bought 2 or 3 eggs at a time. They said,
“when the
price of eggs gets down to where it was before, we will start
buying by
the dozen.”

Slowly the price of eggs started dropping. The distributors had
to slash
their prices to make room for the eggs coming from the egg
farmers.

The egg farmers cut their prices because the distributors
wouldn’t buy at a
higher price than they were selling eggs for. Anyway, they had
full
warehouses and wouldn’t need eggs for quite a while.

And those chickens kept on laying.

Eventually, the egg farmers cut their prices because they were
throwing
away eggs they couldn’t sell.

The distributors started buying again because the eggs were
priced to where
the stores could afford to sell them at the lower price.

And the customers starting buying by the dozen again.

Now, transpose this analogy to the gasoline industry.
Just think, what would happen if everybody buys at a time no more
than one
or two days requirement.

What if everyone only bought Rs 200.00 worth of Petrol each time
they
pulled to the pump? The dealer’s tanks would stay semi full all
the time.
The dealers wouldn’t have room for the gas coming from the huge
tanks. The
tank farms wouldn’t have room for the petrol coming from the
refining
plants. And the refining plants wouldn’t have room for the oil
being off
loaded from the huge tankers coming from the oil fiends.

Don’t fill up the tank of your car. You may have to stop for gas
twice a
week, but the price should come down.

Think about it.

Also, don’t buy anything else at the fuel station; don’t give
them any more
of your hard earned money than what you spend on gas, until the
prices come
down…”

Just think of this concept for a while. And if you feel it may
work
………… …..please pass this concept around….reaching out
to the
masses ..the world.

msbettyboop40 asked:

I’ve never been close to my sister. Quite the opposite.

My sister is very sallow and self involved. Most of my extended family has simply written her off as not worth the hassle as she has shown that she sees not reason to change. Our parents are dead and we have one brother who lives overseas. I live a hour and a half from her. I wanted to stay family but am tired of being the one who carries the relationship. I know this is long but it shows a pattern of behavior that covers the last few years.

When I was getting married, she said she would not be able to attend the wedding since she had to work. She had 2 months notice! The wedding was only 5 miles from her house. She attended but I found out my aunt had called her and told her off.

When my husband died, my family expected her to check on me and give me emotional support. At the time I lived about 3 miles from her house. Once the funeral was over, I didn’t even get a call from her.

When our father was dying of cancer, I just happened to be driving to see her and was calling to make sure she was home. She had known for 3 days I was coming to see her. I finally got hold of her husband who let me know that the doctor had called because “It was time”. This was 2 hours after the doctor called her. She hadn’t bothered to call me. It just happened that I was already on my way and I got to his house 30 minutes before he died.

Many in my family had told me to not bother with her since she has such a problem with my weight (caused by a disease). I am loosing the weight with a doctor’s help now that I’ve been diagnosed but she says “We’ll see how long this lasts”. That was the latest in her snappy comments that people are just tired of hearing. Many in the family don’t even want to invite her to holiday dinners for starting an arguement over her attitude toward me which spills out everytime.

I’ve lived here for 2 years and she has never called me even when I have left messages. She calls my aunt to find out what I wanted. My aunt wanted me to try to build the relationship and not give up. I had left a message about the holidays approaching and she of course called our aunt instead of me but I happened to be at the house when she called. My aunt put me on the phone and we talked for a minute.

We talked about her artwork and the award she had just received. I congratulated her and asked about the painting she had entered. Then I invited her down to see my horses. Horses have been a lifelong dream for me (since I was 3) and I bought 2 Arabians a few months ago. Her response was to ask if I lost my job (she heard that the company I work for is doing poorly), how was I going to find a buyer for the horses. What a way to bring down a person! No congrats, no “I would love to go riding with you”. Just worried about the money. Of course she again worked my weight into the conversation. Happens every time and she still couldn’t be happy that I’ve lost almost 40 lbs. because I am doing it without doing it “her way” (her diet, her excercise regimen) . As long as I am losing, I don’t care.

I love my horses. I thought she would be happy that I am rebuilding my life after the death of my husband. After his death, my stepson went to live with his mother, the in-laws sold the home we lived in (was the family home), I finished school and attended the graduation by myself, moved to a new town, got a new job that I love and have now bought horses that give me a new purpose in life.

After hearing her on the phone, even my aunt said she could no longer ask me to keep trying.

I want to let go but I am still grieving for the lost of my whole family. How do you go it alone? I feel like an orphan.
I am close to my aunt and cousins although we have our ups and downs. I just miss that being special to someone. Especially when my aunt goes out of her way for my cousin like a parent does. I also feel in limbo when it comes to holidays and birthdays since I’m kinda the “poor cousin” that is just the tagalong.
Most of my weight loss is due to the excercise I get from working with my horses. Making small changes to my diet as I go along. Right now, no sugar. Am a diabetic now. Am cutting back on carbs and increasing the greens. No always but more than usual. Doctor is happy with this and says it will take time to make changes. Took a long time to get here and it will not change overnight or it won’t stay.

bettyboo asked:

Background is husbands family a bit fragmented his sister hasnt spoken to him or her parents for 5 years, his father is a controlling bully and his mother is self centred.

As I lost my mum 10 years ago I developed a close relationship with my MIL even though she tried to bully me and made personal comments about my weight. We even took her on holiday with us as her husband doesnt like holidays and she said it was the best time she ever had.

4 weeks ago my kids were going to grannys and as they have an exposed well in the garden we asked her not to let the kids out there. When I went to drop them off she shouted at me and my FIL just stood there and said nothing. On picking them up I kept my head down, loaded up the car and left.

I have decided to leave it for her to make the first move and 4 weeks have now gone by without any contact. This is the third time she has done this and we always go over and calm the waters and to be frank I am totally done with her. I feel she needs to realise she cannot treat me like that otherwise she will continue to repeat this pattern.

My husband is supportive of me but I feel should not get involved and I was waiting for her to contact me so I could have a chat and make it plain. the longer it goes on the more angry I become as SHE shouted – I didnt, why hasnt she made contact? doesnt she want her grandchildren??

hersheybar99 asked:

Ok, i don’t know if i should do this, but i was thinking about making one of those hand stiched patterns with a saying on it for my mom for the holidays coming up? I never really made one before, i guess u have to spend a lot of time with it, should i get a smaller one? Im in my mid 20′s, i figured it would be something different??